I dreamt about Hayley last night. I remember that she had stolen from a hotel and we were kicked out of room 1025. I don't know what she stole. I don't know what hotel it was. I remember crying to a man that I felt like a pariah. Pariah. I feel like a pariah because my daughter is a heroin addict I feel like a pariah because I chose not to raise my granddaughter I feel like a pariah because I've never met my granddaughter I feel like a pariah because I cannot love my daughter enough to fix her I knew she was going to be in trouble long before she understood what drugs were. Long before I understood what an addict was. She had sneaked out of the house, a ground floor apartment, by removing the screen to her window and crawling out into the darkness. She may have been 10 years old. By the time she was in 9th grade high school I knew she was doomed. I play the "would have, should have, could have" game all of the time. I would have waited to by
Thoughts and Observations