Homemaker Spy Log

OKAY, that's not even a question. I feel an almost immeasurable certainty that the majority of women retain a vast amount of not only fear but actual loathing when it comes to bra shopping. While I cannot speak for all women I know that many of us dread this chore for a myriad of reasons but specifically because of this phrase: it's been discontinued. That phrase is enough to strike unequivocal grief into any woman. Why? Because of the toil and work that went into finding a particular bra. If I had boobs that fit into cute little Victoria Secret bras it wouldn't be that much of an issue. Unfortunately God blessed me in that department and whilst my husband is extremely appreciative of the original factor installs I possess, when it comes to buying a new bra I am not so appreciative. In recent years bra manufacturers have also decided that girls with a blessed chest also need a padded bra. I'm sorry, explain to me, in complete sentences, using words with no more than tw

This has been on my mind a lot.  No, I'm not addicted; never used it, never will.  But things are a little different when you are living with the fact that you have a child who is addicted to .....heroin. All the talk in the world about don't do drugs didn't make a difference.  The DARE program didn't make a difference.  As a parent I feel like a complete and total failure, I did not make a difference. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that, for lack of a better terminology, I have a good daughter and a bad daughter. I live every day wondering, as I'm sure so many parents in my shoes do, "Is this they day I get the call? or, the knock on the door?"  Is this the day I find out if Hayley is dead? It has been over five years of manipulation, lies, stealing, police calls, social service intervention, school interventions.   When she first left home I prayed nothing would happen until she was over 18.  Thankfully, nothing did that I know about. 

      I haven't written about dad's actual death yet, it still hurts too much and I fear the tears would never stop.      Over the last few months mom has gone on a spree, giving away and donating things they've collected over the 50 plus years of marriage.  I don't think she realized just how much 'stuff' they had.        Dad was a picture taker.  It seems like he was always getting his camera out.  Growing up it seems that he was always taking the same group picture, the same photo of a family dinner, the same photo of holidays.  The same faces, the same Christmas tree, the same Thanksgiving table.  What I didn't realize until after he was gone and mom started going through boxes upon boxes of these pictures was that he was documenting the history of our family.  Our lives.        My throat gets tight and my eyes well with tears thinking about how our lives have changed.  It's all there in black and white and color glossies to see.      So, mom

     Tonight was dinner alone night.  Hubby had a late meeting which actually ran later than he'd anticipated.  Well, with two dogs and two cats one is never really alone but I digress.  He missed out on a fabulous dinner: baked potato ( if you're Dan Quail that would be 'potatoe', and most of you are likely to young to get that), salad, and a rather nicely done steak.  By nicely done I mean pink in the middle.  After 49 years I believe I've finally discovered the trick to cooking a nice steak on the cook top.  Please let me know if you'd like to know the trick.  I'd rather share it with you than let you spend 49 years trying to figure it out.      I though about single people eating dinner alone which turned my thoughts to my mom.  I dislike the thought of her eating alone every night.  I wonder if she actually eats, alone or otherwise. Loneliness is just this great big well that sucks you down.      In other news, I found the cat on top of the toilet

The bridal shower was on Saturday so I decided to spend Friday night with Mom and then we could drive down together, saving me tons of driving on Saturday. Mom and I had decided to make my brother of photo album for his birthday.  I often tease Mark that every picture of him seems to have a plane, train, tank, or boat in the background.  When I got to Mom's house Friday afternoon I sat down to go through years and years of pictures for his album. Along the way I pulled out years and years of pictures of him along with Taylor and Hayley.  Many hours of reminiscing later, I had more than enough pictures of Mark to fill several albums and covering many decades. Taking a break Mom and I had dinner at Mike O'Shays.  She told me she was thinking about selling the house and moving into a senior living community (which I think she should).  I can see how incredibly lost she is and can't seem to get herself together.  I would think that's pretty normal only 3 months into w

"In one sense there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts beyond departure. You will always feel that life touching yours, that voice speaking to you. He/She lives on in your life and in the lives of all others that knew him/her."      - Angelo Patri      Visiting with mom and dad yesterday.  I ran over to the DMV for mom to pick up her tags for her car.  I was pleasantly surprised they didn't hassle me about it and that it only took about 15 minutes.  Longmont still has many 'small town' qualities about it that I miss.      Dad is having more dizzy spells with are more severe and lasting longer.  He dropped a glass of water that I managed to catch.  He passed out several times during lunch as well.        Taylor called while mom was making lunch and she and I chatted for a while and then she talked with dad - who of course made out like 'except for the dizzy spells' he's fine.  Taylor talked with my mom and then I talked w