Skip to main content

The End is So Hard

Having a parent with end stage (insert disease here) is crushing.

 Eight months ago Dad was given six months to live, you do the math.  His heart is failing, his valves leaking.  He has been having dizzy spells for about five days now and has passed out twice.  The hospice doctors and nurses have told him to stay in bed.

 Talking to him today was gut wrenching.

 He went through a period after receiving his 'six months' where he wouldn't even say "I love you".

 That changed and he started saying it again.  Today was different.  Today he said I love you, and followed it by "I love you very much, Carol".  Was that 'good-bye'?

I can't stop crying.  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Outside of the time I spent with Kerry last night, I'm pretty sure my weekend completely tanked. We were suppose to go to watch the Arsenal v Man U match at the pub on Saturday . Now, Mr. American Football didn't believe we should get there early. He still hasn't figured out that there are more supporters for real Footy in the world then his stupid Broncos. Sigh. the pub opened at 8. We got there about 945 am and needless (to those of us who have a clue) it was packed. Standing room only, folks. So there is no place at the bar or to sit. So, Mr. AF says to me: you don't want to stand here for 3 hours which in reality, translates to: He didn't want to stand there for 3 hours. Nice. Thanks a lot. So I turned around and walked out. We get back in the car and he says: do you want to find somewhere else to go? Yeah Mr. Brilliant - home so I don't miss the match. Could he have possibly driven any slower? So we make it home and I see the match, but I'm pi...
Post a Comment
Read more
All of this medical stuff is making me an emotional wreck. I called the cardiologists today to make an appointment and I find out that the ER doc didn't mention the stress test in his 'release notes'. I also found out that this guy was a D.O. (doctor of osteopathy). Boy did that give me some comfort. Not. I also found out that since he didn't write it in the notes, I can't get the stress test since the insurance company won't cover it. There's a shocker. So, the lovely lady I was speaking to said to go ahead and make an appointment and there could be a good chance the cardiologist would go ahead and order the test anyway, thus being covered by the insurance. I'm certainly not trying to buy problems here, but I know something is not right. I can feel it. I'd like an answer one way or the other. Hayley has been a trouper through this whole thing. She even brought me breakfast in bed yesterday. I haven't told Taylor yet so I imagine she...
Post a Comment
Read more

We'll miss you Old Man

This is Romeo, beloved kitty of Warren. Yesterday Warren IM'd me to tell me he was ready to put the old man down. Romeo had been ill with Kidney failure for about two years. He'd stopped eating and drinking the last few days. Well, I called the vet and made the appointment. It was a hugely emotional day for all of us, especially Warren. He'd had Romeo for 16 years. They'd seen a lot together. We went to the vets. They had a nice room for us with it's own outside exit. That was nice because we could leave straight out of that room and not see anyone. I'd never witnessed this before so I was really sort of shocked at how quickly it was done. Warren held him the entire time. I guess I expected they would take him away to do it. We will miss you old man. I kind of wonder why we don't do something like this for humans. It seems much more humane that the suffering we go through to get to the end.
Post a Comment
Read more