Skip to main content

Both Sides Now

     I haven't written about dad's actual death yet, it still hurts too much and I fear the tears would never stop.

     Over the last few months mom has gone on a spree, giving away and donating things they've collected over the 50 plus years of marriage.  I don't think she realized just how much 'stuff' they had.  

     Dad was a picture taker.  It seems like he was always getting his camera out.  Growing up it seems that he was always taking the same group picture, the same photo of a family dinner, the same photo of holidays.  The same faces, the same Christmas tree, the same Thanksgiving table.  What I didn't realize until after he was gone and mom started going through boxes upon boxes of these pictures was that he was documenting the history of our family.  Our lives.  

     My throat gets tight and my eyes well with tears thinking about how our lives have changed.  It's all there in black and white and color glossies to see.

     So, mom, the boys (yes, we are all grown up but I still refer to them as 'the boys') and I have been going through these pictures, these treasures, this history.  In the last few weeks though, mom has changed a little.  She has started giving back all the pictures she had in frames around her house.  She even gave back the wedding picture Warren and I gave to them, frame and all.

     Mom found out, quite on accident, that dad had a life insurance policy (minimal).  I guess it rolls over to her and she has to include beneficiaries.  She needed our socials and phone numbers.  She said many times "if I die tomorrow".  It is likely part of the whole grieving process but it seems as though she is trying to make things easier on us kids by getting the house sorted out and such.  It's weird.  


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No Witty Title Here

I'm not even sure I have anything witty to say. We had a really lovely morning, nice and quiet and relaxing. We had to take Hayley to get science project supplies and then stopped for lunch at Johnny Carino's. Hayley begged and pleaded for us to take her to the movies. We ended up seeing Marley and Me. It was a fabulously lighthearted, feel good movie....up until the last 20 minutes or so. It was just a bit too emotional for me, at least. Five tissues, at least. I'm still heart palpitating on a daily basis, although not as much as I did the first week. I'll have to get back to you on other stuff, because, quite frankly, I just can't think of anything to write.
So I visited the cardiologist today. This is really frustrating. It's like no one believes me because my blood pressure and heart beat are statistically fine, except no one wants to believe that I am having chest pains and heart palpitations. We'll schedule you for a stress test and echocardiogram in 3 weeks. Nice. Until then we'll give you a heart monitor. Every time you feel something press this button, and better yet, you get to keep a journal of when/where/what so that after you press the button 5 times, you get to call it in. Every time you press the button, it buzzes for one minute. This is going to go over really well at work. The little sticky electrode things are suppose to make my skin raw......that'll be fun, don't you think. After the pepper dinner disaster last night, Warren went to the man cave and didn't emerge until he left for work this morning. I've not heard hide nor hair from him today, although I do know he has class. I'm mak...

Thoughts

For some reason I've been thinking about people from my past lately. I'm sure it's a rather melancholy thing we are all want to do from time to time. I was doing a bit of 'stalking' on my space, just to see what a former friends former boyfriend was up to. Jodi sort of went off the deep end in about 2003, left her husband of nearly 20 years, hooked up with an old high school flame. The got together, broke up, got together, broke up, etc, until she finally turned up pregnant at the age of about 40 ish something. OUCH. Well, she stopped speaking to me and I guess I wonder what she's up to. I wonder a lot about Simon, too. The way he just 'disappeared' still bothers me. But, in being realistic, had he not just vanished, I wouldn't be where I am today. So, I guess I should thank him, not just for leaving, but for the years we spent together. I know that it was all just a journey, incredible at times, but a journey to lead me to where I am now.