The Past, Present, and Future

The bridal shower was on Saturday so I decided to spend Friday night with Mom and then we could drive down together, saving me tons of driving on Saturday.

Mom and I had decided to make my brother of photo album for his birthday. I often tease Mark that every picture of him seems to have a plane, train, tank, or boat in the background. When I got to Mom's house Friday afternoon I sat down to go through years and years of pictures for his album.

Along the way I pulled out years and years of pictures of him along with Taylor and Hayley. Many hours of reminiscing later, I had more than enough pictures of Mark to fill several albums and covering many decades.

Taking a break Mom and I had dinner at Mike O'Shays. She told me she was thinking about selling the house and moving into a senior living community (which I think she should). I can see how incredibly lost she is and can't seem to get herself together. I would think that's pretty normal only 3 months into widowhood.

I told her I would be happy to visit some of these places with her to help her decipher all of the information.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Comments

TO BLAME OR NOT TO BLAME, THAT IS THE QUESTION

This has been on my mind a lot. No, I'm not addicted; never used it, never will. But things are a little different when you are living with the fact that you have a child who is addicted to .....heroin. All the talk in the world about don't do drugs didn't make a difference. The DARE program didn't make a difference. As a parent I feel like a complete and total failure, I did not make a difference. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that, for lack of a better terminology, I have a good daughter and a bad daughter. I live every day wondering, as I'm sure so many parents in my shoes do, "Is this they day I get the call? or, the knock on the door?" Is this the day I find out if Hayley is dead? It has been over five years of manipulation, lies, stealing, police calls, social service intervention, school interventions. When she first left home I prayed nothing would happen until she was over 18. Thankfully, nothing did that I know abo...

So I visited the cardiologist today. This is really frustrating. It's like no one believes me because my blood pressure and heart beat are statistically fine, except no one wants to believe that I am having chest pains and heart palpitations. We'll schedule you for a stress test and echocardiogram in 3 weeks. Nice. Until then we'll give you a heart monitor. Every time you feel something press this button, and better yet, you get to keep a journal of when/where/what so that after you press the button 5 times, you get to call it in. Every time you press the button, it buzzes for one minute. This is going to go over really well at work. The little sticky electrode things are suppose to make my skin raw......that'll be fun, don't you think. After the pepper dinner disaster last night, Warren went to the man cave and didn't emerge until he left for work this morning. I've not heard hide nor hair from him today, although I do know he has class. I'm mak...

No Witty Title Here

I'm not even sure I have anything witty to say. We had a really lovely morning, nice and quiet and relaxing. We had to take Hayley to get science project supplies and then stopped for lunch at Johnny Carino's. Hayley begged and pleaded for us to take her to the movies. We ended up seeing Marley and Me. It was a fabulously lighthearted, feel good movie....up until the last 20 minutes or so. It was just a bit too emotional for me, at least. Five tissues, at least. I'm still heart palpitating on a daily basis, although not as much as I did the first week. I'll have to get back to you on other stuff, because, quite frankly, I just can't think of anything to write.

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